An Exercise in Self-Reflection - October 19, 2008
Here's an exercise:
You know when you read biographies of people long since dead and someone says something like "it's interesting how kind he was to his employees but was so cruel to his relatives" and you think, man I wonder if they ever questioned themselves about that. Or you read memoirs and the person sort of casually mentions how it took them twenty years to realize they were a workaholic or half a decade to figure out that they hated their life and the other half digging themselves out of that impossible hole.
I think a good, but unending job is to endeavor so that no one ever questions something about your life that you haven't already fully turned over in your head from every possible angle. That you should never realize something about yourself in some momentous epiphany because you've institutionalized incremental reflection. The role of a biography is not to work out the problems that you've been living every single day because in fact, that's what every single day is for.
The exercise then is to consider what a stranger would think if the facts were all laid out on the table. What would they question? What have you missed? Finally, what can you do now that would cut off their assumptions--to answer their doubts with actions and avoid the surprise of a cliché?
Posted by ryanholiday at 4:45 PM
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Will that drive you insane? Just found the site through Tim Ferriss's link. Should I read your archives?
Posted by: JMG at October 19, 2008 04:44 PM
This reads to me as more important than anything else in this post, and worth exploring on its own.
It's good and fine to examine yourself but if your actions don't reflect your thoughts and beliefs, you're really not changing much.
Posted by: Ilan Bouchard at October 19, 2008 05:36 PM
I think, at least to some degree, JMG has a point. It's difficult to stay on right side of the line between legitimate and contemplative introspection on one side, and neuroses and inertia on the other.
Not disagreeing with, just saying it is a difficult goal to aspire to. Still should be aspired to, though.
Posted by: Colin at October 19, 2008 06:21 PM
Constant, hyperactive self-awareness, brah.
Spinoza: "Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering once clear, precise pictures of it are developed."
Everything is emotion, everything is suffering. Literally. Develop clear, precise pictures of them constantly, and you will triumph over them. Or at least you'll come to some pretty rapturous realizations on the way to the mental hospital. Either way.
Also, fuck the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. The Red Sox will sign all of their good players in 2011.
Posted by: Ted at October 19, 2008 08:03 PM
I've been following this blog for quite some time now, so I've become familiar with some of the recurring ideas. That said, I think there's something uniquely special about this one. I have problems with anger and being too quick to judge. I think that imagining what a biography of myself would read like could come off as arrogant, but for self-improvement it's almost necessary. Besides, it's ultimately unselfish because it's admitting that what other people think matters.
Posted by: Trent at October 19, 2008 08:17 PM
Interesting post. I am sure your readership has increased after the mention on Tim's blog, I found it there as well. (Thanks Tim)
I think that most people who are successful (not many unsuccessful people have biographies written about them), are driven. They know they are sacrificing some aspects of their lives in return for accomplishing their goals. They have no regrets, and no interest in making excuses to cater to the assumptions of others.
They have different priorities than most, and that is what in many cases, has made them successful in the first place. If the guys at the top of the game don't do it why should anyone? Last week Tim mentioned in his blog that everyone is insecure, and it really is true. I don't think anyone at the top of their game is really blasting through life oblivious to the alternatives.
I believe that questioning yourself and taking the road less traveled is what happens in most cases.
Posted by: Pizzamancer at October 19, 2008 08:18 PM
"That you should never realize something about yourself in some momentous epiphany because you've institutionalized incremental reflection."
Do you think incremental reflection is a better way to confront self-awareness rather than those earth-shattering "Fight Club Moments"?
Posted by: Alex at October 20, 2008 10:17 AM
I very much think that it is. I realize everyone really likes that post, but it has all sort of problems and they're NOT something that you should ever strive for.
Posted by: Ryan Holiday at October 20, 2008 12:44 PM
I agree. I think "Fight Club Moments" indicate our failure at "incremental reflection", to use both of your terms. The former definitely has a place, but more as a wakeup call to stop bad habits rather than something to strive for.
Posted by: Alex at October 20, 2008 01:45 PM
