Being Honest - January 21, 2009
From an outsider's point of view, the last few weeks have been very good to me. Stuff I touched has been all over - national papers, all the huge blogs and I got to work with some important people. The strategies I came up with are just starting to pay public dividends. Plus my phone won't stop ringing.
But up close, it's more complicated. I made a bunch of sloppy mistakes. I had to let someone else handle an important decision because I couldn't find the words to justify my position. People have been sending shit back for corrections. I haven't posted here much. My reading has been whatever. And I've been trying to write up this sort of ad/essay fusion thing and after four cracks at it, I'm about to hand it off to someone else because I just don't think I have the chops.
It has been depressing, frankly. At first I was trying to use the stuff in the first paragraph to convince myself that the stuff in the second wasn't so bad. But I don't really get anything out of that either. Sometimes, I guess you have to admit to yourself that you're not performing at the level you want to and that it's going to take a lot more of this until you get there. I'm trying, now that I'm conscious of it, not to use a cathartic release like this post to make it easier to deal with. It's not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to suck.
Posted by ryanholiday at 12:54 PM
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Ryan - Keep your head up! January sucks, even at your best in Jan, it is like 40% of the rest of the year. I am contemplating on hibernating until March myself actually.
I closed down my pizza shop 12/31 and in a kind of self imposed mini-retirement at the moment. Catching up on reading and exercise, and hoping that both become stronger habits in 2009.
ps, as I have so much to do each day, send over that essay.
Posted by: Pizzamancer at January 21, 2009 04:53 PM
Thanks that was pretty real. I've been reading for awhile and get a lot of insightplus a reminder to read the older philosophy more. Thanks for all of that
Posted by: James at January 21, 2009 06:55 PM
You are inspiring Ryan. You know your limitaions, and yet you try more than 99% of those in your industry. You are the number one person I read as far as blogs go. Keep chugging. Your 10,000 hours are near.
Posted by: Anonymous at January 22, 2009 12:07 AM
High self-expectations can lead one to discount success and magnify failure.
Posted by: Pedro at January 22, 2009 11:48 AM
You need some validation. That's what you need.
Posted by: Milky Way at January 23, 2009 12:03 PM
pain is the only way to get better. be-lieve me. it sucks to realize these things.
Posted by: genuinechris johnson at January 24, 2009 08:04 PM
I haven't read Outliers yet, but when I hear people saying cheesy things like 'your 10,000 hours are near', it makes me not want to.
Posted by: George at January 26, 2009 03:47 PM
Unfortunately, I publish the comments but don't write them.
Posted by: Ryan Holiday at January 26, 2009 08:15 PM
