Never Enough - April 28, 2009
I like watching those shows on HGTV where people shop for their first home. I always lose it when I see some 25 year old engaged couple rejecting a house because it only has "two bathrooms" or "not enough space for a formal dining room." It's banal and insidious and makes me shudder.
When I think about it, that's a lot like how we judge and make complaints about other people. Deep down there's no other explanation but entitlement. I mean, have you ever once thought that you'd be willing to trade something you do appreciate in someone in exchange for the thing you're complaining about?
Our grievances against other people are mostly rooted in this tendency to take what we do get for granted and whatever else we want as justly deserved. It's a petty kind of narcissism shined over with rationalizations about social cues or the 'future of customer service' or reciprocity. And when I look at it that way, I realize there isn't much honor in criticism, just greed.
Posted by ryanholiday at 6:55 PM
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In modern times, criticism has been used by the underclasses in order to more effectively incite their intent in others. Some historians believe that this eventually lead to the fusing of entitlement and want into the emotion dubbed purpose, though some are critical of this conclusion.
Posted by: Anonymous at April 28, 2009 05:26 PM
One thing that I've made myself consciously do is decide whether I can ignore a person's traits that I dislike; if I can't, I won't pursue a friendship with them. Even labeling those traits as "flaws" is selfish; trying to get someone to "correct" them is the ultimate form of narcissism.
Posted by: Vladimir Sedach at April 28, 2009 11:26 PM
Maybe your grievance against those petty home-shoppers is rooted in your own greed. Maybe you want to be a newlywed with the means to disdain a house due to lack of dining room. And what of my complaints about complainers complaining about complaining? Maybe I just want to be a jerk.
Posted by: Vince at April 29, 2009 06:28 AM
Anyone unable to accept flaws in people, perceived or actual, should look to live in a hermitage. As for complaining about "things" I've noticed a strange phenomena over the years. Example: I knew a man who survived the the Bataan death march, yet years later, a middle class ordinary citizen, complained about his coffee "...not exactly right."
It is always the little things that get us.
Is it a matter of degree what we would accept in people or things in regards to accepting them? I think it is.
Posted by: Hal at April 30, 2009 04:32 AM
What's worse is that some of these young couples are willing to tether themselves to a giant mortgage just to get a big house they can't afford just so they can impress friends who don't really care. Isn't that why we're in the mess we're in for the most part? How many McMansions devoid of furniture and personality does America need before it splits open at the seams like a bloated corpse from a crime drama?
It's okay to be particular about things. But is it worth risking foreclosure in the near future just to get a house with a master bathroom with a jacuzzi?
Posted by: MaxBro at May 2, 2009 06:50 PM
