"Just keep working hard. Talent only gets you the chance. Your success is dependent on what you do with it." -- Tucker Max
If you haven't read Gladwell's piece on The Myth of Prodigy you ought to check it out.
I was in a very similar place as Gladwell. I was a bit of a running phenom as a child; running a 6 minute mile in 5th grade. But then it started to slip away.
[Children] "will often strike a pose that is simultaneously rebellious and lackadaisical. It's a way of staying in place: trying harder brings more risk of failure, which they cannot handle, so they lower their expectations, finding nobility in slacking off and mediocrity. Losing hurts less when they embrace it." --Robert Greene
As competition grew fiercer, I capitulated instead of fighting it. I accepted my own fate as a novelty. I admitted I was a flash in the pan, that I was nothing special, that it was all a fluke. I didn't make the jump from 6 minutes to 5 minutes for almost another 7 years.
I've learned a lot since then--even as a runner. For years I wasted time reaffirming my delusions--that I hated hard work and I hated running. It was a lie, what really I hated was failure, and that's what happened when I tried. Your mind likes to treat the symptoms rather than the disease. Addressing the symptoms means correcting an anomaly, curing the disease means admitting you were wrong. I had to step back and be disappointed in myself. Admit that I had been taking a dive because it was less painful than taking a loss.
I'm trying to do it differently this time. I don't plan on wasting this. That quote I posted up at the top, I try and think of it a few times a day. I think I've broken myself of those destructive habits. I worked a little Pavlov's magic on myself on a treadmill. Everytime I wanted to stop I sped it up a little. Each goal I set--I'll stop at 3 miles--I exceeded by .1 or .2. I excised those demons (laziness) by refusing to indulge them.
But I figure that just "learning" isn't enough. I want results this time. Success that I can point to, that no one can ever take away. Is it really impressive to brag about what you almost were, what you could have almost had? Did I really deserve any of it all, if I let everyone down?
And now as I soak myself in sweat every night of the week, running mile after mile, I know what it feels like to have the candle burning at both ends. I can feel my trial period slowly running out, the novelty quickly become more of a burden than an aide. Out of the two roads, I've already chosen one, and it led to nothing but misery and self-loathing. This time I think I'll take the other. The genuine self-awareness followed by hours at the gym.
Posted by ryanholiday at 2:29 PM