Speaking of running in LA, I’m pretty sure this is the only city in which your average run could include:
*A black transvestite in a dress and fake breasts jeering “I could beat you in a race, backwards.”
*Being forced to scream at a woman’s incessant honking “He’s in a fucking turn lane, shut the fuck up”
and having her turn around and give you the finger.
*Stopping in a park to do situps to find every available grassy area occupied by homeless people or regular people having sex.
*Stopping in a different park and noticing that “futbol” is prohibited.
*Getting one of your tear ducts so clogged with sweat, smog and grit that it swells up to the point of you being told “You look like a retard. No, you literally have the features of mongoloid.” (You can guess who said that.)
*Having small children race you down the street as their parents pay no attention to the fact that their offspring running off with a shirtless teenager.
*Having a random Mexican scream from a moving car to “put a shirt on.”
*Having that instant pang of shame immediately counteracted by Mexican women cat calling from the next vehicle.
More to come, this is only from the last week.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Holiday, you’re fucking disgusting.
“You look like a retard. No, you literally have the features of mongoloid.”
Care to tell who says this?
finally, a piece that singes my nerves. You really captured the rawness of running on the streets of L.A. And was it Tucker Max? It was tucker max wasn’t it? I bet it was.
Hey, this is not entirely related, but do you still play guitar?
This was hilarious. Needles and used condoms don’t deter you from doing sit-ups?
Of course it was. And I haven’t picked up a guitar in probably 2 years.
That is hilarious. Only in LA…
Although, some pretty crazy shit happens in NYC too.