The Difficult Questions
I don’t know enough about football to comment on the Brett Farve situation but let’s pretend for a minute that it’s as clear cut as it looks to an uninformed observer. It’s a good example of something a lot of people don’t want to admit – that not everything that feels right is healthy and just because you want it, doesn’t mean you should have it.
If you ever walk through Runyon Canyon, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Girls, bone thin, walking up a mountain in sweatshirts and pants when it’s a 100 degrees outside. They let Muhammad Ali box himself retarded. Nobody really questions a family destroying itself for no god damned good reason. Somebody’s whose personal life is in ruins doesn’t bother to stop and think about whether they should stop evangelizing the choices that got her there. We all have our own way of doing it.
Cognitive dissonance, the narrative fallacy , confirmation bias, rationalization, the resistance, defense mechanisms, evolutionary strategies, repression – a good chunk of what we want, what we’re pulled to, what ‘feels right’ is motivated by things other than us. So it takes a lot of hard work and hard questions to examine your life through a critical and detached lens. To break the cycle of impulse and indulgence. To become someone who’s in control of themselves, the direction that they go and the choices that they make.
“Our decisions should be made on the basis of what’s most healthy, not what will satisfy me the quickest. Live with integrity and a clear sense of right and wrong. Consider consequences. Listen to the inner voice of your instinct as carefully as a doctor checks your heartbeat.” Dr. Drew Pinsky Cracked: Putting Broken Lives Together Again
Thanks for this post, Ryan. The thing about Pinsky’s comment – “live with integrity and a clear sense of right and wrong” – is that these things can’t be taught, only lived. Experienced. It takes time to discover right, wrong, and integrity. Some, like a couple that you mentioned, never discover.
Heh, Favre’s been like this ever since he won his first Super Bowl and he became a demigod to sports media because he shows “passion” in everything he does. Because most athletes aren’t terribly savvy outside their arenas, the media and PR campaigns become vital to expressing who they are to the common fan. Athletes and celebrities have generally been viewed by the media fairly objectively; even Jordan got pretty even treatment from mediatypes during his heyday.
But Favre generally gets a pass from media because he strikes a chord with his “gun slinging mentality” and “big play ability” and “love for the game”, something that media people fawn over. His reprehensible behavior during this whole saga seems to be a byproduct of this. He’s been allowed to do as he pleases for a whole decade without anyone holding him to the fire.
Holy shit, I laughed at the RMMB thread for Penelope Trunk’s twitter account, but this post is absurd.
Ryan,
Once again, you hit it right on the head. No one questions their own activities, because people have been fed this “do what feels good” bullshit from infancy. No one is willing to put in the hard work it takes to keep a family from self destructing. Or make the tough choice to forgo the career for the benefit of a commitment you swore to have until you died.
Penelope Trunk makes me sick, because she’s thought of as this career expert and advocate for work/life balance.
What is she? A fucking failure. She’s leading women down this path of thinking it’s okay to sacrifice your marriage and children for career fulfillment. If our current generation wasn’t fucked up enough. As if it weren’t bad enough, the divorce isn’t even final, and she’s dating again. Fucking gross.
My stepfather said something to me years ago that still resonates to this day. “Son, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”.