I think I used to be more of a always on the go person as well but of late I’ve toned it down a bit.

Why?

I think balance is very important. Lots of religions and wise philosophers of the past have expanded on this idea so I won’t go into it. I also think that proper rest and living a stress-free (note: not challenge-free) life helps me work better and accomplish more during my times of work because I am more focused, alert and energized. Basically, I don’t feel guilty anymore if I’m not doing something which is quantify-able. It’s has allowed me to take more time to spend with friends and build relationships.

I went to a seminar with a series of speakers half a year ago. One of the speakers was Suzanne Sommers who talked about the importance of health as people aged. The most interesting thing she said was “When I was younger I used to brag that I was up until 3am working on my acting or writing my books. I was proud of sleeping only 3-4 hours a night and going on less sleep than anyone else….I’m not proud of that anymore.” From her appearance and the things she talked about, her health was obviously failing and she placed a much bigger priority now on her health since she was losing it.

Now you can definitely see the other point of view that if she hadn’t stayed up late all those nights she might not have acted that much or written those books.

I realised a while ago that fame does not equal success. It’s an odd thing to say when the media and American values seem to say the opposite all the time. For me, my life will still be successful whether or not I’m famous or well-known. And guess what, I’ll bet the people that really achieved something thought the same way. Thomas Edison didn’t set out to be famous still 50 years after his death. My definition of success does not rely on anyone else.

Don’t take this as attacking your point of view. Everyone makes their own choices and there’s definitely not one path for all people. That’s what makes life great.

The problem is that we have people that go out and cause car accidents because they’re bitter, or try to tax the successful to deter a greater disparity, or attempt to break the spirit of the motivated.

The question is: Is there a worse accusation than being told you make other people worse off by existing then by not existing?

You’re welcome to your opinion, of course. Live life the way you want to, and try not to inconvenience others in the process, but I don’t see a difference between your personal mandate and a religious evangelist’s. You insist that to be worth anything as a person, one must be constantly learning, innovating, improving, working hard, getting up early and going to bed late for the sake of somehow “making the people around you better”; every religious evangelist insists that to be worth anything as a person, one must be constantly praying, worshipping, preaching, repenting, condemning sinners and commending the righteous for the sake of pleasing a particular deity. In the absence of a clearly defined, universal “purpose of life,” you have both come up with your own ideas about why we exist and what we ought to do, with nothing more than your personal convictions and value structure as support.

All your philosophy amounts to is an arbitrary set of directions on how to go about achieving self-satisfaction your way. As individuals, we are free to set our own goals and live life by our own standards as long as they don’t interfere with the rights of others, so who are you to tell me that I’m not living up to my potential? Who are you to tell me I have a responsibility to go out of my way to please anyone but myself?

I’m not advocating a lifestyle of conspicuous consumption or selfish pursuit of absolutely nothing more than my own personal gain. Like most people, I smile politely when addressed by another person, I hold the door for the guy behind me and flush the toilet when I’m done and slow down when the soccer mom on the freeway ramp has to merge. These are all fairly common standards of decency. So beyond that, why should I pay attention to you, or anyone else for that matter, when you tell me how you think I should live my life?

On my deathbed, I predict I will relive my most cherished memories of time spent with loved ones, traveling the world, enjoying the things I’ve found enjoyable. Your deathbed experience might be different, but by no means can you say that your goals are better than mine.

Cadet07, you provide an example in your response: “if 50 years after my death someone is still talking about me then that would satisfy me.”

That number of 50 is completely subjective. Supposing there was a way for someone to know how long they’d be remembered on their death bed, there are those who would feel a deep sense of regret over only being remembered for 50 years.

Ryan’s idea of a regret-free life revolves around the premise that “there’s no greater pleasure than to function at your highest capacity”. Again I feel that too much subjectivity surrounds this statement for it to be useful. Perhaps we are evolutionarily geared towards working hard, but how hard and in what direction are areas that, in my mind, are created by the individual and affect one’s definition of “highest capacity”.

I don’t mean to write this as if I have the answers, and if anyone’s ever read ‘Denial of Death’ by Ernest Becker, it does a better job dissecting the subjectivity of man’s meaning systems better than I am doing, and while I hope he’s wrong, I have to consider the argument as a possibility.

And look at this Nigel guy. He is PRECISELY the kind of person that I was talking about–someone that lives for spite. You got it, buddy, I’m coming up with rationalizations for greatness.

I’m gonna be happy on my death bed. I’ll look back on having a job that I’d be absolutely crazy to complain about, working constantly and being good at it. I’ll also think about the insane amount of work I put on myself in college and how proud I was to fucking destroy it. I’ll also think about watching Crank, (and, when the time comes, Crank 2) in my underwear and eating pop tarts, a necessary precaution against burning out.

You sure? It seems like all this discussion is pointless because you’ve already decided you wanted to be this “great” person and you’re just coming up with reasons to validate that sort of existence.

The question is not what do you do with your free time, it is, if you don’t dedicate yourself to improvement, what are you dedicating yourself to? Stagnation? Regression?

Are/were you making yourself better while watching Law and Order?

And on that note, am I making myself better while watching The Office on Thursday nights?

It seems to me that enjoying a good television show with some friends is improving yourself. Do you agree?