I read your post from today about what its like to run and swim and i know exactly that moment. I swam long distance and it makes me think of this one race in highschool where it was so close and i was pulling ahead and i could hear the roar of everyone cheering when i would take a breath and then it was my peaceful place as soon as my head turned where it was just me and the water. There is nothing like that feeling, that high that you get. I have no idea why people do drugs

I read your post from today about what its like to run and swim and i know exactly that moment. I swam long distance and it makes me think of this one race in highschool where it was so close and i was pulling ahead and i could hear the roar of everyone cheering when i would take a breath and then it was my peaceful place as soon as my head turned where it was just me and the water. There is nothing like that feeling, that high that you get. I have no idea why people do drugs

I read your post from today about what its like to run and swim and i know exactly that moment. I swam long distance and it makes me think of this one race in highschool where it was so close and i was pulling ahead and i could hear the roar of everyone cheering when i would take a breath and then it was my peaceful place as soon as my head turned where it was just me and the water. There is nothing like that feeling, that high that you get. I have no idea why people do drugs

Your post reminded me of this quote. When I was younger growing up became harder as it does for all of us. Instead of working harder I began to resent life for not being as simple as it was when I was younger. I embraced mediocre at school then in life. I hated hard work and believed if something did not come to me naturally then I was destined not to be good at it no matter how hard I tried.

Failure is a part of success. Do not let the prospect or the reality of failing deter you from trying again. Brush it off and move on. Temporary failure only becomes permanent if you let it happen. – Tucker Max

I accepted the scraps of life. I blamed society, my friends and my parents, for my “rotten luck” in life. I did not just drink from the tap of self pity I bathed in it. Hell it was alot easier than looking inwards and seeing my own fears.

Then one night I came across an article Tucker had written in Esqiure. His voice and attidude was such a departure from anything else I had ever read, so I immediately checked out his site.

For months I went through the process of Tuckerfandom. First wanting to be him, learning I couldn’t be him, getting anger at not being able to be him, then attributing his success to luck, fate or some other equally pathetic excuse.

Nevertheless I kept coming back and slowly the message of what Tucker was about crept through. Be the best version of yourself possible.

Honestly, this thought scared me because it meant examining myself. Seeing things as they were, not as how I would like them to be. So I tried to bury it as deep and fast as possible. But just like the scratch at the roof of your mouth that would just go away if you jut stopped tonging it, this thought kept kept on coming back.

Ultimately, conclusions started to form and I had my “fight club” moment.

I was working as a the night shift as a part-time janitor in a TV studio. It was my first day and I was told to clean out the garbage from all the different studios. I had always wanted to be screenwritter/director in high school. I had won numerous awards for acting and even co-directed a school play. Standing in that studio looking around I couldn’t stop but reflect on where I was in life. I was never more certain of how far away I was from my goal than when I was standing right beside it.

I’d rather try my best and fail, then risk nothing, but gain nothing. At least that way I can go to bed knowing where I stand…But that failure is relatively easy for me to deal with, because at least I know I tried, whereas most people never even do that. – Tucker Max

That night I quiet my job, bought a plane ticket back home and enrolled into school the very next day.

This happened about 8 months ago since then I’ve waged war on myself. Fighting all my old habits vigilantly.

To say it’s been easy would be a lie. However, by putting everything into what I want to become holding and saving nothing back, I’ve never been happier than as I am now.

“I am the master of my fate I am the captain of my soul” – William Ernest Henley

Malcom Gladwell had some good things to say about it in his back & forward with Bill Simmons sometime ago:

“This is actually a question I’m obsessed with: Why don’t people work hard when it’s in their best interest to do so? Why does Eddy Curry come to camp every year overweight?

The (short) answer is that it’s really risky to work hard, because then if you fail you can no longer say that you failed because you didn’t work hard. It’s a form of self-protection. I swear that’s why Mickelson has that almost absurdly calm demeanor. If he loses, he can always say: Well, I could have practiced more, and maybe next year I will and I’ll win then. When Tiger loses, what does he tell himself? He worked as hard as he possibly could. He prepared like no one else in the game and he still lost. That has to be devastating, and dealing with that kind of conclusion takes a very special and rare kind of resilience.”

I definitely suffered from this attitude when I was playing basketball, against tough competition I would play within myself to reduce the risk of failure but also leaving no chance of really succeeding. It was also evident at times with my writing, I would put writing off for fear of reading over my work and thinking it sucked.

Another good example of what you are getting at is Kevin Durant – see this article:

http://www.statesman.com/sports/content/sports/stories/longhorns/02/28/28durantnewtruck.html